My mom is an amazing woman that very few people have ever gotten to meet. She work hard all of our lives to make sure that we had a roof over our heads and food in our belly's. She tried to teach us about saving our money and having to work hard for it. I will admit that growing up my mom embarrassed me by her weight and the outfits she wore.
I used to hate going out in public with her as a teenager, I know your thinking what teenage girl did. The thing is I was mean to her when she did not deserve it. I remember for my 13th birthday I asked for a bike because I was going to Jr.High and all my friends in the neighborhood had one. My mom work allot that summer and in August when my birthday came around my mom brought in this neon hot pink 10 speed bike. I immediately could tell that it was second hand and I shouted that I hated pink. I will never to this day forget the look on my mothers face when I said that it was heartbroken. Overtime I got over my self and rode that bike everywhere until it just rusted out.
There are so many memories of how awful I treated my mother because I was embarrassed by her that I wish I could take them all back and start over. But then I wonder if I did that would our relationship be the same as it is now. If you have told that seven years ago my mom and I would be best friends I would have laugh at you. I think our turning point was when my mom stood by me when I became pregnant at the age of 21 which was a big no-no in my family Mormon faith. Where others were encouraging me to give the baby up for adoption because I was not married and could not love the child as a married couple would. My mom stood by me and encourage me to keep the child telling me that I would regret giving the baby up. When I made the difficult decision to keep the baby and everyone at the church told me how disappointed they were with me my mom just loved me. I was scared shit less, here I was 21 years old 8 months pregnant no college degree or job and I was going to keep a baby. To this day I'm so very grateful to my mom for the support she has given me. I have a gorgeous 6 1/2 year old daughter who lights up the room every time she comes in. She is very much my mom's angle and seriously I think the best thing that could have happen to mine and my moms relationship.
We first found out my mom had breast cancer when I was pregnant with my second daughter almost six years ago, yes I know back to back. I was devastated after having lost my dad to lung cancer at 18 I did not want to have to do the doctor visits, chemo treatments again at 23 years old. That Christmas my brother and sisters flew in from Utah where they migrated over the years, it's a Mormon thing.It was awesome having them home and having me mom sister at the house to help. After that they left and once again here I was taking care of a parent with cancer by my self. First and foremost it is one of the hardest things you will ever do. Overtime I will continue to tell our story of my mom, dad and my self. This will not be an upbeat positive blog, more of one about reflection and dealing with watching someone you love dying a slow painful death knowing you can do nothing about it. In writing this blog it is not meant to inspire actually it is very selfish of me I need a place to vent and I can not do that in my Facebook, Google+ or Twitter as people do not want to hear this kind of stuff. If you want to follow feel free I really don't care this is for me.
Jolene Sopalski
